Cosmic Sunflower

I love madalas. Every since I found the Bee for Bliss mandala, I’ve looked at many many different ones. This is the latest addition to my collection and it is called the Cosmic Sunflower.

 

Just to catch you up on what madalas are, here is a Wiki link to read up. MANDALAS

This week has been pretty busy. As I stated briefly in a mobile blog post, I’m about to embark on business trip across country. I’m going to Seattle, WA and Los Angeles, CA to visit my top two customers. I’ll be gone five days and four nights, flying on five different airplanes (I hop to Atlanta, then Seattle, stay for a day, hop to LA, stay for a day, hop back to Atlanta, then finally home). I leave September 4th.

My father-in-law has been in the hospital, but he is out now. They still don’t know what is wrong. He is having some kind of scope procedure done on Monday. The bleeding has gotten better, the hope is that he was attempting to pass a stone…rather than prostate problems or even cancer.

Hubby’s back procedure went well. I fussed at him for doing too much so soon after it (he was mowing the yard the very next morning – crazy man). But he seems to be doing fine. Those steriod injections can be sneaky. Make you feel like you can do anything and then before you know it, you’ve done more damage to your back.

The kids have been sick with some kind of stomach bug. Eddie has toughed it out and stayed in school. Ellie missed a day and has a ton of catch up work to do. I’m feeling really oogy myself this morning, but I’m hanging in there. I cancelled movie night with my gal pal Tara. I didn’t want to risk passing this mess along, even if I did feel better by that time.

So that is the summary of the week.

This & That

I am at day surgery with hubby. He is getting a steroid injection through his side to his spine to help with his back problems. He gets them a couple of times a year. Things are really gearing up for my trip to Seattle. I was also surprised to learn I will be going to LA too. My plane reservations are made. Reality is twisting my stomach into knots. I have not flown in over 20 years.

Not going to be online much

My father-in-law went into the hospital. I’m not going to be around much to post or view your blogs. I’m sorry. Take care.

Emotions Sponge

Yesterday I was in a state of euphoria. I couldn’t have been happier. Today…today the happy bubble burst. Actually it started last night.

About 8:00-ish, my husband got a page from work. A co-worker (in another department) committed suicide by jumping off one of the buildings at work, apparently due to marital problems. Even though hubby didn’t know the co-worker on a deeply personal level, it still upset him greatly. I tried to be comforting, but I just didn’t know what to say.

Part of the thing about my personality is that I tend to draw from the personalities and feelings around me. I’m like an emotions “sponge”. So this really threw me into a tailwind and I started surging into the depths of my own emotional pool. Those that know me, know my history…you know what kind of effect suicide discussions have on me. What a personal issue this is for me.

So I’m sitting here, while hubby had to go into work – on an unrelated issue (he has to paint his shop floor), and I’m just immersed in my music and my thoughts. Seems like I always turn to music. The irony is the song playing on my MP3 play is by U2 “If God Would Send His Angels”. I hope God sent his angels last night…for that young man and his family & friends.

Cascada – Evertime We Touch

There are always songs that speak personally to us. This is just one of many that I’ll be adding to my music section. Let me know what you think!

Blogging by Email

The last couple of blog messages have been submitted by my mobile phone (the ones with the photos) and by email (the ones with text only). I haven’t had a whole lot of “online” time. So I’ve had to find some alternative means of getting posts out there! So far it has been working beautifully.

I really don’t have anything new to report right now. Just been doing a lot of thinking, a lot of working, and getting back on track with my healthier lifestyle plan after two days of eating debauchery. I gained 5 lbs since Saturday and so far I have lost 2 lbs of that. My official weigh in day is tomorrow. I’m disappointed in how I did, but at least I recognized the recklessness and am back on track now.

My biggest fear at this point is that I’m entering a manic phase. I feel the edge of it. I’ve got this jittery feeling and a feeling of wanting to get out and do something exciting. That is really dangerous for me. But then again…I am seeing it in myself and I can curb those feelings. So in that respect, I’m really proud at how far I have come. Even though I’m medicated and I take my Depakote religiously…it isn’t 100% effective. I’m still going to have depressive days and manic days. It is a part of who I am. No medication in the world is going to make me the picture perfect image and I’m not the Stepford wife type of person. I’m too opinionated, stubborn and independent. LOL AMEN

So with a slap on my own bootie (hehehe) I’m getting my tail back to the fun world of Customer Service (someone strangle me with the phone cord now). LUV YA!!!

Wacky Vivid Dream

Last night I had a vivid dream about my trip out west. I had an agenda handed to me with a list of all the different places I was going to. I was excited and raring to go. The odd thing is I was in communication with my mom and she kept saying she’d see me in Seattle (she was there right before she died). Seattle was last on my list. Each location I was at, I’d call her and she’d always say the same thing. But when I got to Seattle, she wasn’t there. She’d moved on. The dream became a twisted nightmare/comedy (if such thing was possible) because it was just so ludicrous. There were these “thugs” preventing me from finding my mother. No matter how hard I tried or how close I got, I’d get swept up into this conspiracy theory that would push me further away from finding her. I woke up thinking “dang where the hell did that dream come from?” and just had to laugh.

They say dreams often times are our subconscious speaking to us. But I don’t think that was mine. I know my mother is gone. It is a reality that I’ve accepted. That being said…WHAT DO YOU DREAM ABOUT?