Emotions Sponge

Yesterday I was in a state of euphoria. I couldn’t have been happier. Today…today the happy bubble burst. Actually it started last night.

About 8:00-ish, my husband got a page from work. A co-worker (in another department) committed suicide by jumping off one of the buildings at work, apparently due to marital problems. Even though hubby didn’t know the co-worker on a deeply personal level, it still upset him greatly. I tried to be comforting, but I just didn’t know what to say.

Part of the thing about my personality is that I tend to draw from the personalities and feelings around me. I’m like an emotions “sponge”. So this really threw me into a tailwind and I started surging into the depths of my own emotional pool. Those that know me, know my history…you know what kind of effect suicide discussions have on me. What a personal issue this is for me.

So I’m sitting here, while hubby had to go into work – on an unrelated issue (he has to paint his shop floor), and I’m just immersed in my music and my thoughts. Seems like I always turn to music. The irony is the song playing on my MP3 play is by U2 “If God Would Send His Angels”. I hope God sent his angels last night…for that young man and his family & friends.

Meditation

My mother use to swear by meditation. She’d tell me I should give it a try and I have off and on throughout the course of my adult life. There is a lot to be gained from meditating. You don’t even have to get into a cross-legged position to do it. Just find a spot, relax, listen to music or not, breathe slowly and deeply, and just let your mind drift. My mother said often times if you are stressed about something that your answers will come to you during your meditations. Remarkably I have found this to be true on more than one occasion.

On this journey I’m taking in self discovery and becoming healthy, I feel that meditation would be very beneficial for me. So I’m going to start meditating right before bed. That is when I am alone and I can really relax. Here are some links to learn more about meditation.

Wikipedia – Meditation
Learning Meditation
Holistic Online
Meditation Center
Transcendental Meditation

Busy Bee

I’ve been a very busy bee! I have been trying to clear out my accounts that are associated with “justme1issa” and starting fresh with this ID. It has been quite an under-taking, but one that I am very happy with. I feel like I am coming into myself at last and finding clarity.

The past two years (actually much longer than that) have been full of ups and downs and now it is just time for be to take a deep breath and just be myself. I want to get back in touch with the things I once loved…writing and photography. I also want to maintain my weight loss and continue to loose weight while I do some soul searching.

I know this is an inconvience to many, but in the long run I think you’ll like the changes I am making. But if not, I’m truly sorry…without trying to sound b*tchy…my blog is ultimately for me.